|
March 12, 2001
Psst.
Do you like to watch?
Do you gaze intently, looking on as the leather straps are pulled tight?
Do you stare when that look of excited apprehension rushes over their face, as their body is immobilized and the punishment
begins?
Do you like to watch?
Timothy McVeigh hopes you do.
The mass-murdering fertilizer fiend wants to be a martyr.
Convicted in 1997 of murder and conspiracy for the Oklahoma City bombing that killed 168 people, this brush-cut bozo has
dropped his appeals and is preparing to die. His execution is scheduled for May 16.
And he wants it to be televised. What a great idea.
In the good ol' days we had public executions, death by hanging in the town square. Before the advent of radio and TV
there was little else for entertainment.
Will we watch? Of course, we will! A televised execution will make "Survivor" look like a rerun of "Gilligan's
Island."
McVeigh's demise is supposed to come via lethal injection, but I say the needle's too good for McVeigh.
We ought to consider using the guillotine, or a vat of acid, or perhaps he should be drawn and quartered. Grisly? Yes.
Deserved? You bet.
The anti-death penalty crybabies will whine and moan about all of this, but so what? An eye for eye.
There's no drama in the needle. They poke him in the arm with a syringe -- so what. The most reaction we'd see is a wrinkled
forehead and a pout, and maybe an "ouch."
BORING! McVeigh deserves to fry ... especially if it's going to be on TV.
I say we use Florida's infamous 77-year-old electric chair, also known affectionately as Old Smokey. You know, the one
that set Pedro Medina on fire back in 1997.
Any Court TV junkie knows a sentence in a criminal case is designed to do several things, primarily punish the offender
and deter others.
I contend the lasting image of a slow-roasted Timothy McVeigh should go a long way toward deterring other crazed loner
mass murderers. Right?
The marriage of McVeigh's execution and TV is brilliant, a television producer's dream. Talk about a ratings juggernaut!
And the possible program tie-ins are endless.
Be honest now folks, wouldn't you watch a show called "Execution Island"?
Other possible tie-ins include: "Just Execute Me," "Ally McVeigh," "I Have No Friends,"
"Dharma & Tim," "Touched By An Anarchist," "The West Wingnut," "Everybody Loves Raymond
but Everybody Hates Timothy," and "McVeigh, Texas Toast."
Come on people, if we're going to televise this thing we have to make it big, huge, an execution extravaganza!
Another programming coup could employ red hot game show host Regis Philbin yelling, "Who Wants To Pull The Switch?"
Sponsors will be stepping over each other to get a slice of the advertising time pie, from Ray-O-Vac to G.E., Crisco,
Depends, Wesson Oil, KFC, Cap'n Crunch, Baggies, Shake n Bake, Sizzler, and so on. It'll be bigger than the Super Bowl.
The righteous always jabber on about the punishment fitting the crime. Well, in this case the only thing that would come
close to an equitable punishment would be to fit McVeigh with a fertilizer bomb to be detonated by a special three-digit number
dialed in unison by every red-blooded American with a touch-tone phone.
I got yer punishment right here!
That is all.
John Charles Robbins is a Sentinel staff writer.
|
